THE Test

I know…it has been a long time between blogs. This, however, means that I have been kept busy visiting several schools. It has been a great week so far with the exception of a request by the office.

Both Monday and Tuesday I went to Uchinoura Elementary School. Due to the amount of schools that I visit now after the town merger, I have many more classes that I have to visit at each school. If you recall, teaching English for non-native speakers in elementary school is like hosting a TV show or actually becoming Barney on speed with a strict exercise regiment. Being this animated though, really brightened my day and reminded me of what I like so much about my job. The kids are just so excited to see me and try to communicate with me that it makes the 6 hours of non-stop singing and dancing worthwhile. In addition to these visits, I hosted a after-school English game challenge in Ginga Arena for first, second and third graders. The task proved to be a bit daunting since the first graders hardly know any English and the third graders don’t really want to learn the same thing over. So, every time I introduced something very basic, I usually lost the attention of the older children. When I introduced something too advanced, I lost the attention of the younger ones. The one miracle game that worked amazingly was Duck, Duck, Goose. However, I changed it so that every few times we would use different animals (i.e. Cat, Cat, Dog; Fish, Fish, Bird).

The down side of my job. Tuesday afternoon, I was handed a blue envelope with my name on it and asked, “Do you understand?” I said, “No.” They opened the envelope for me. Everyone gathered round. They took out a small, plastic re-sealable bag with two plastic vials in it and a color pamphlet. One guy began to so eloquently illustrate how one has a bowel movement, while another frantically went for the online translator. The actor then pretended to get one of his droppings. He then pulled a stick out of the vial and stuck it in his imaginary poo. They pointed to the online translator where I read the words I was dreading -- stool test. They told me to type it in so they can do a back translation to make sure I understood. I typed it in but they got back what translated to chair test. I assured them I understood. They then told me I had to do this after two different bowel movements in the next 36 hours. Let’s just say they were lucky they got one. I asked why they needed this and they said that it was part of the health check (yearly physical) that I had to take like all the other public workers. I remarked that this wasn’t part of last year’s exam. They informed me it was a new addition. Fortunately, I went through all the different station less than an hour ago, and there were no more “new additions”.

A quick update on Cristina. Her wound is healing nicely. She will most likely get the next wisdom tooth extracted on October 1st. As for her Japanese driver’s license, she took the driving test for the fourth time and was failed once more. This time she was driving to slow. She didn’t reach 50kph and immediately break where the speed limit is 50kph. Last time I checked though, a speed limit was just that, a limit, a maximum, not a requirement. She’s taking it really hard because it is so taxing on her, her office and me.

This weekend, we are going to the nearest capital city northwest of us, Kumamoto. We are really excited about just hanging out in a new city and being able to read a book in a café, walk around new parks, shop on new streets and just get away from the countryside for a while. We hope to also use this time to plan our winter holiday to Cambodia and Thailand.

I know this entry is short, but I must prepare for my school visit today. I am going to one of my new schools in the next town and am a bit nervous. I’m preparing some props to introduce myself. I hope everyone is doing well. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thursday was Tata’s birthday. Cristina, Laura and I drove up to Miyazaki to have dinner with him, Osa and other Miyazaki friends. As you may have guessed, we went to Akabei, home of the pumpkin mousse. Upon returning, Tata was greeted by a house full of birthday party surprises and some brownie sundaes for dessert. The following are some pictures of the event. Some people are so weird.


Saturday Cristina got one of her wisdom teeth extracted. I really don’t know what to say about this. Only that she complained that they didn’t give enough anesthesia and it hurt like hell when they were giving her stitches. Since then, I have been driving her to the dentist every afternoon so that her wound can be cleaned out. It’s a bit of a pain since Cristina does not have a driver’s license yet, but at least we’re pretty sure that her wound wont get an infection.

Much more has been happening since then, but unfortunately I don’t have more time to write about it. I promise to post a more detailed account when I have a free night and am at home. Since the town merger, they have put an end to my office days. I have to work everyday now.

Oh, and we just survived a Category 3 typhoon, Nabi (14). We are all ok; however, Cristina’s house has some SEVERE leakage and water damage. I will post pictures some time today or tomorrow. On the bright side however, we are the only 2 ALTs with power in our area.

Not currently wearing my I <3 Japan Shirt

It all began with Laura’s birthday….(not really, only this blog entry). We had decided to go to MoMA, a restaurant very cleverly named after what we assume to be New York’s Museum of Modern Art, but who can truly be sure. Cristina had slaved for two days making a delicious pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing as Laura hinted she would love to eat that on her birthday. We arrive at 7 (maybe even earlier) and are give one of four tables in a raised tatami area behind bamboo-blinds used as trendy (or cheap) separations. As we begin to order, another party begins to arrive and are seated at the table next to us. We are told that they are going to need the table we are sitting at by 9, to which we tell them not to worry. We will most likely be done by then, or so we thought. The two people employed there begin to make what we had ordered and placed it on our table. The food was delightful; however, after about an hour, it was taking a lot longer to get to us. The place’s 4 tables had filled up as well as the bar’s 10 seats. We continue to wait and request another bottle of wine. Apparently, we had drank their only bottle so we asked if we could buy one from a combini and simply pay a corking fee. They agreed.

I walked out, went to an Everyone to buy a bottle of Chianti. As I approached the counter to pay, the two clerks were busy assisting other customers. The boy, who I thought was going to finish first, was ringing up a lady’s 10 rice balls individually rather than ringing them up as a lump sum. So, I went to the girl, who had an irked customer that left after she had only individually bagged three of the 15 single-serving size ice creams he had purchased. She rings up the Chianti and proceeds to bag it. I tell her I don’t need a bag. She’s stunned. I have hit her with a horror of a comment. She is about to sound the alarm if she can only escape out of her trance. She proceeds to apologize, PROFUSELY, and begs for my forgiveness because she will have to use a piece of tape to mark the bottle of wine as purchased. I do not respond. She continues to apologize, bow and all. She finally puts the piece of tape on. The Chianti costs 1098 yen. I place 1100 yen on the counter. She cant seem to enter the right numbers (probably from fear that I may eat her or do what I really wanted to do, smash the bottle over her head and scream). I leave after her 3rd attempt, without the change and with the taped bottle in my hand. She chases me, I ignore her.

Back at MoMA, our party is still waiting for their food. Another 45 minutes pass and we send Bryan to see what is going on. One doesn’t acknowledge him. The other tells him to wait. We wait another 10 minutes and decide to leave. They, then, decide to tell us our food will be coming out in 10 minutes, to please wait. We are so pissed that we tell him no and simply pay for the food, but leave anyway. Needless to say, I will never go there again. Whewww… Now that that is out of my system, I can continue.

On Wednesday, Cristina returned Momo, the Lapin. She says she is not as enamored by the car as she once was. We pick up her Marshmallow and leave Ono-san’s $750 poorer. I drive the entire time because she doesn’t have a valid driver’s license.

Thursday, I meet with Cristina at her house and drive her to the Kotobuki Driving School in Kanoya so she can practice for the driving test that she was scheduled to take the following afternoon. I pretend to go as her translator to help her with tips. Luckily, I was able to convince the driving instructor not to go over anything except for what is going to be in the course for foreigners at the testing center. She is frustrated by the whole experience, as you can imagine, and contemplates not driving a car in Japan again. We decide to bury our woes in a delicious KFC Twister.

Friday comes. Cristina takes her written test. She passes. Cristina takes her eye test. She passes. Cristina takes her driving test. She fails. Reasons given: Only one, her driving is a bit swervy. No rhyme or reason. Cry, cry, cry. Cristina loses faith in the Japanese Automobile Federation (understatement). Cristina must try again. *note: Entry is not well illustrated because of blogger’s absence and inability to more adequately describe the situation. For a more detailed account dealing with the torture of getting a Japanese driving license, please see blogger’s entry entitled “License to kill, I mean, drive”.

Friday night, I meet the members of the office in front of Ginga Arena. We are ushered into a resort mini-bus. I have no idea where we are going, only that it’s a drinking party. The mini-bus stops at Koyama and we pick up the other members of the other offices of the Kimotsuki Board of Education. Adam, the new Koyama ALT, is in the bunch. Some us talk while others sleep on the bus. It had been a long day for us Uchinouran BOE members who had to wake up at 5:30 AM to drive to some mountain in the middle of nowhere near Kishira to pick up roadside litter for one hour. Time goes by and the bus finally arrives at its destination. It’s a church! Sort of. It’s a fake church on the borderline that divides Cristina and Laura’s towns. Japanese people use it to get married in (just like the movies) with a hotel right beside. We walk into the hotel where there is a huge banquet hall set up with a buffet table at its center. I feel like I am at a wedding, but not. In true Japanese style, it’s as you cat sexy? (The previous sentence was just completed by a Math teacher from Uchinoura JH. I thought you might appreciate it, so I left it.) In true Japanese style, the party was all you can eat and drink. It was all good fun and great to finally hang out with new cool people. At 11, the party ends and we all get back in the bus. Everyone is looking very tired. The Koyama people are the first to get dropped off. As we are finally approaching Uchinoura, the head of our office says that the after-party will be at his house. I react surprised. Everyone looks half dead since we all got up so early to pick up trash and were all pretty much full of cold banquet food and gassy Japanese beer. I was ready for bed. I suck it up and go to his house since the bus dropped all of us off there (and I had no other choice). The after-party goes on for another hour, an hour more than the night should have lasted.

Saturday morning, I walk to Ginga Arena to pick up my car. I run into some students and stop to converse. I pick up my car and drive to Cristina’s. I pick up some pre-requisite yummies at the Ai-shop on the way. Cristina is cleaning, so I wait. We debated what we were going to do. We decided to go to the waterfalls, but it turned out to too dreary a day leaving the water to be unpleasantly cold. We leave after a while, and go back to the house for some movies, chicken fajitas and wine. We are joined by Laura, Matt and Adam.

The next day was even more uneventful than the previous. We lounge about all day and watch nearly the entire second season of Arrested Development. Great show. I feel so lethargic that I decide to go running. However, nature called and shortened the distance to the finish line.